{silence}
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*cough cough*
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{silence}
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Was that uncomfortable for you?
Feel the need to jump in and say something? Anything – just to avoid the silence?
Most people become uneasy when a room falls quiet. Especially during a negotiation. But in reality, these moments of calm, though eerie, are one of your most powerful tools during a negotiation – so don’t let them go to waste.
Reflection
Let the silence play out. You’re giving both your counterpart and yourself time to reflect on the discussion, review the documents and put together commentary. Interrupting this pause cuts the thought process short.
Instinct may push you to pull your counterpart out of their reflection so that they don’t have time to come up with a response that you don’t like – but in my experience, even if the initial reaction isn’t what you were looking for, having it based on adequate reflection will pay serious dividends as discussions progress.
To the same end, being anxious to keep the discussion moving will short-circuit your own thought process. Sure, you’ll be able to get your message across – but have you spent enough time thinking about that message before sharing it? Knowing when to take a moment to gather your thoughts is a powerful thing, so use the silence to your advantage.
Information
Resist filling the air by forcing the conversation forward. At best, it can make you look desperate to close a deal, and at worst, you may speak out of place and reveal information you shouldn’t. A classic outcome of an awkward silence is that one party starts to feel that they need to make concessions in order to move things along – and they end up negotiating against themselves. Resist.
Holding back will also create a window of opportunity for your counterpart to fill the air – perhaps they’re uncomfortable, and will start sharing information they wouldn’t have otherwise. They may be nervous and offer to make a concession they were holding off on. Your role during this silence is to listen. Listen to the silence – and then listen especially carefully to whatever discussion begins to fill it.
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If embracing silence during a negotiation is difficult for you, practice makes perfect. In each meeting you attend, work on letting silence sit in the room for increasingly long periods of time. Working your way up from 10 seconds (which can seem like an eternity!) to a full minute will help you build the skill to take with you into your next negotiation.
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Do you find yourself being the talker, or the listener when there’s a silence?
Filed under: Making It Work Tagged: Corporate, negotiation, Negotiation Consulting
