Networking. The core of developing any new business. The key to creating connections with others and spreading the news of what you’re able to offering this world.
And if you’re anything like me – networking is also one of the most terrifying things you’ll ever have to do.
This isn’t to say that I don’t like meeting new people. In fact, I’m continuously reminded of the positive effect of networking when I realize that I’m able to put two people into contact with one another who otherwise wouldn’t have met – I love being a ‘connector’.
As I’ve worked to get over my fear of networking, I’ve distilled the advice I’ve been given by friends, colleagues, and countless articles, and found that the four guidelines below work best for me – maybe they’ll help other novice (and nervous) networkers.
1) Opportunity spotting
Sometimes, networking can happen when and where you least expect it – but you have to be open to finding it. Train yourself to be aware of your surroundings and the people you’re interacting with. Maybe you’re at the pub on a Sunday afternoon and a snippet of conversation from the neighbouring table floats your way. They’re talking about your industry! If there’s an opening to join that conversation, go for it. Of course, be tactful and respect that others may not want to be disturbed, but chances are they’ll be just as interested in meeting you and you are them. Learn to think of networking not was something stuffy and formal and pressure filled – but as something that happens naturally as we move through life.
2) One connection at a time
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
How do you network a room? One connection at a time.
When you’re nervous about attending an event, it can help to set realistic goals – “Today, I’ll meet one new person.” That’s it. All you need to do is find the courage to introduce yourself to one person. And once you’ve done that? You can either call it quits, or try for ‘just one more’. This technique helps me avoid feeling overwhelmed by how many people there are in a room, and it also helps me focus on the conversation I’m having. If this is the only person I meet today, I’m going to be sure that I paid attention and treated them with the respect I want others to show me.
3) Common ground
Beyond finding the courage to approach someone, the requisite ‘small talk dance’ can be a struggle. I’m naturally quite shy, but I’ve found that when I’m meeting someone for the first time it can help to play detective a little bit – what I’m looking for is common ground between us. Maybe we’re in the same industry, or both like art, or maybe it’s just that we’re both wearing blue. It’s a nice way to either break the ice or keep momentum going in a conversation. And if I’ve given it a solid try, and nothing is floating to the surface to build the conversation upon – that’s ok. Some connections aren’t meant to be.
4) Celebrate
Putting forward this much energy can be exhausting. It can be easy to forget that what you’ve accomplished – by showing up, by meeting ‘just one’ new person, by finding common ground – is something to be celebrated. Take a moment after the event to congratulate yourself on having the courage to go through with it. Make note of what moments made you feel confident and powerful and connected. The next time you’re wavering on whether or not to put yourself out there and network, remember these moments…and get to it!
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Are you a natural networker? A small talk specialist? A confident connector?
Filed under: Making It Work Tagged: business tips, Corporate, Entrepreneur, negotiation, Negotiation Consulting, networking, small business
